what if, what if…

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My mum and dad first thought I was crying with disappointment for not having achieved my time goal. Then I had to say to her I was crying out of sheer happiness. Letting go of all the pressure from a very tough month in my head. It wasn’t even about the race anymore, one I had ran faster than ever.

As I said in previous posts, I believe challenges have to be realistic. I wouldn’t have set out to run 2 marathons in 6 weeks if I didn’t think it was doable at this point. That being said, I never thought I’d get 2 outright personal best times. Gee!

Some small swelling in my left foot kept me from training the way I’m used to. Direct consequence of that? DOUBTS.

Many questions pop into your head when a new unwelcome situation presents itself. What’s gonna happen? Will I be able to keep my pace? Is it gonna start hurting halfway in? Will I benefit from changing my training routine? What if I can’t finish? What if I don’t enjoy the race?

What if…? What if…? What if…?

And it turns out I got to those last 195 meters—cramps in my calves—the final stretch you don’t run with your legs, nor your heart. You run it with tears in your eyes (paraphrasing here a quote I fell in love with at first sight)

When all I could think of and shout for joy was “of course it was possible! of course you had it in you!”